Introducing my Assistant

Introducing my Assistant

Hiya! Mr J and I want you to meet someone.

I like to buy a comic for my weekly allowance, and some candy, but I don’t always find anything I like in the comic shop. There has been too much rubbish about us in the comics, good comics too of course, but too much that stinks. What’s described in ¨Mad Love¨ and ¨Harley Quinn¨ is true. But ¨Joker: Last Laugh¨ and ¨Harley Quinn Series¨ don’t even describe half of the truth.

Of course Mr J and I fight now and then. All couples have their ups and downs. When we disagree we can say and do stupid things, but we don’t mean that literally. That’s nothing to exaggerate. And everyone should know that we’re sadomasochists, its part of the game to hurt each other sometimes. Of course, I mostly help Mr J hurting the victims, and he’s mostly hurting me. That’s part of our relationship, and it’s perfectly normal to us. We don’t care about our victims, we just use them, and we always use people. If our victims imagine stupid things about us, or about our fake identities, we use it. We make fun of our victims. Mr J and I joke about them for being incredibly stupid. We have no bad conscience about hurting our victims. That’s because we have no conscience at all. We just want to have fun. And why picture me with an awful short haircut? I have a lot of hair! Mr J wants me to have long hair. I look ugly in the pictures and I want to look cute. Mr J thinks I’m cute. I think Mr J is cute. The writers and artists must have interviewed our enemies for these stories. They must be friends of Batsy. He wants to describe us in a bad way. Otherwise they had interviewed Mr J and me. All our true friends understand our true personalities and our true motives of course, but too many jerks don’t. Our true friends want good stories about us, not bad stories about imitations and bad copies. Mr J and I are the originals, the imitations and bad copies have no connection with us. I suggested bombing the comic shop to Mr J. He said it would be funnier to torture the salesman first. I’m really looking forward to it. Mr J is a genius. He knows how to amuse me, and he always has the funniest ideas.

Not all the cartoons have been good either. I use to watch the children’s program. Mr J wants to keep me at the TV then, so that I don’t disturb him while he’s working. There’s always a risk that the chemicals explode. Mr J got mad at me when I wanted him to come and watch, and was about to punish me, but then he saw that I was upset because the program was an animated movie describing Batsy like a hero. Mr J and I were described like lunatics. That was so unfair. There’s nothing wrong with being mad and killing people. It’s fun! Bud and Lou started growling when they saw Batsy’s ugly face.

There is time for correction, and telling what wasn’t told before, and telling the whole story. I’ve hired an assistant to write Mr J’s and my stories, and make drawings of us too. It’s not more than fair that we tell our versions. Check it out when it’s published. I found the assistant on Internet. She’s mad about Mr J and me. She got mad in another way when we saw all the bad comics. My assistant only collects good comics about Mr J and I. Funny enough, she has a fake smile, because she has facial pains, and she has often had the question ¨What are you laughing at?¨. She’s handling all contacts, so feel free to e-mail her.

See ya! Lots of love from Puddin’ and Harley.