Our Happy Family
By Harley Quinn’s Assistant copyright © 2005-2024
Most people thought it was an accident when I got pregnant. Others thought that Mr J forced me. That’s what we made stupid Oracle believe once. Incredible that she believed me. We used that her biggest fear was that new Killer Clowns appeared. She should have known that I was sent to infiltrate the enemy but why not use stupid people. We always have. Oracle was stupid enough to believe that she had to rescue me. How ridiculous! I’ve only told the truth to Mr J, I’ve always been lying. The world is full of jerks, which are just waiting for imagining stupid things. Mr J and I have always made the jerks imagine anything we wanted them to. We’ve given the jerks fake clues wherever we’ve wanted to. Mr J and I have enjoyed our role-play with the jerks, which is just part of the joke. It’s made the joke even funnier and enjoying.
Oracle thought she could keep Mr J at the Slab too, as if she was safer from him there. What a joke! A stupid judge had been convinced by stupid Oracle. Of course Mr J appealed against being sent there. He also proved that he could escape from there just as easily. After spending a year on and off at the Slab, the decision to send him there was revoked. Because of all the faults committed, including the fake diagnosis of cancer, he was returned to Arkham Asylum, the right place for him, when he wasn't at large that was. Mr J shouldn’t be kept at a prison because he was insane. He shouldn’t be kept among sane people, usual people or metahumans, either. Insane people should be kept at an asylum. When the court decided to return Mr J to Arkham Asylum, I made fun of Oracle, who always was in the court when Mr J had been arrested.
Mr J and I wanted children. We didn’t need any Birdboy or fake-JJ. It was just to annoy Batsy, and he knew it. It was such a good plan, and funny, to have him killed by his adoptive son. Then we would of course kill Birdboy. Mr J had told me about the baby which died with his first wife, and how upset he was about it. He often had nightmares about it. He dreamed that he picked the baby up from the bed to comfort it and that it then disappeared. I woke him up when he screamed. Then he didn’t know where he was, and he confused me with his first wife. He could ask me if I had taken the baby and if I had put it under the bed. When Mr J had nightmares at Arkham and screamed the guards swore at him. They didn’t know how he was suffering. It was very important for him to become a dad again, and he counted the baby which died as his first child. Mr J wanted at least two children, but he didn’t mind more.
When the news was out it was hot news. People were shocked and surprised. They didn’t know that Mr J and I had been trying to get children for a long time, even at Arkham. That’s not what we tell everyone. I hadn’t discussed it with Poison Ivy, she had talked a lot of rubbish and I didn’t want to listen to it. She’s my gal pal but I don’t tell her everything. Sometimes I lie to and use her too. Mr J was frustrated that it took time for him to make me pregnant. There had been some conflicts about it between us. Mr J even took me to the hospital for a fertility test. He had made his first wife pregnant much quicker, it was an accident, but he wanted the baby. People were also surprised when we got married, but it was very important to us. We had planned to get married for a long time. But we hadn’t got the possibility earlier, because of all mean people who destroy everything for us.
Mean people want to spread evil rumors about us but they don’t know anything about our relationship. They make up evil rumors about us because they want to give us a bad impression. I want them all dead! I hate them all! These mean people can’t imagine how much Mr J and I love each other. They just want to imagine stupid things, which are not at all true, about us. I got pregnant because Mr J and I love each other, and the baby was the proof of our love.
Sometimes people got it all wrong and thought I was Mr J’s daughter. That was because I often behaved like his daughter and Mr J often behaved like my dad. I had no contact with my real parents. Because Mr J was much older than I he became my dad too. I had never needed to behave like an adult so I continued to play. I liked all Mr J’s toys. Mr J mostly wanted what he called adult play and I liked that too, but sometimes I got embarrassed. I liked to be childish and to be one of the babies in the family. I didn’t want to be an adult. It was boring to take responsibility. Mr J usually tolerated that I didn’t behave like an adult, but sometimes he got annoyed with me. I was a mess sometimes, and Mr J said that having me around was like babysitting ten kids at the same time. He also punished me like a child when I disobeyed. Of course I deserved to be punished, and Mr J said it was for my own good, but it was awful to get spanked. I felt so ashamed and it was so humiliating. And it really did hurt with a whip! Mr J thought I was spoiled and that I needed to learn good manners. I learned that if I protested or revenged I would get more punished later. To protest or revenge was never as smart as I thought it was. I always had to regret it in the end. The stupid thing was that I could have avoided to get spanked, if I had only behaved myself.
Mr J actually only treated me like an adult when we had sex. When Mr J was busy with planning how to murder Batsy he had no time for sex. But Mr J often wanted sex, and then it was a lot of sex. Then we were doing ha-ha. It was more advanced sex than I had experienced before. It surprised Mr J that I didn’t know much about sex, and that he had to explain to me. Mr J thought that Jewish girls were unaware of sex.
Dr Leland thought that it wasn’t a good idea for me and Mr J to have children. She was shocked by the thought that I had sex with Mr J. Every time I went to Arkham she feared that I was pregnant and forced me to take a pregnancy test, and it was repeated whenever Dr Leland feared that Mr J and I hadn’t behaved ourselves. Stupid Dr Leland has never understood us. Sometimes we escaped from the guards, and sometimes Mr J could sneak into my cell at night and then we had intercourse. I actually got pregnant at Arkham. Mr J and I were so happy that I was pregnant at last. For so long we had dreamed of and hoped for a baby. We immediately planned our escape. Dr Leland understood what had happened and gave us the possibility to escape earlier. She went to Mr J’s cell to confront him. Mr J threatened Dr Leland with a knife he had taken from the work shop, forced her to open my cell, and told the guards that he would cut Dr Leland’s throat if they didn’t let us leave with her as a hostage. We escaped in one of Arkham’s cars and threw Dr Leland out. No one should be able to hurt our baby and it shouldn’t be born at Arkham.
Mr J wanted everyone to know that he had made me pregnant He took me to ¨Iceberg Lounge¨ to celebrate. Mr J drank champagne but I wasn’t allowed to drink alcohol so I drank soda. The Penguin asked us why we looked so happy, if someone was about to die. Mr J told him that this time we celebrated that someone was about to be born, and told him the good news. The Penguin immediately ran away and told Two-Face, the Riddler and Killer Croc. We heard that they had a lot of comments. Then Mr J and I went to talk to them and sent Bud and Lou to fight with the leopard seals.
We went to a baby shop and almost scared the salesman to death. He thought that we were going to rob the shop, and that was real funny. Mr J wanted to buy a baby carriage and he let me choose. He let me choose bed clothing for the baby carriage too. It was funny to try the baby carriage in the shop. The salesman was surprised when Mr J paid for the goods, and he was scared when we threatened to come back and buy more things. When we got out from the baby shop to pack everything in the car, who did we see if not Batsy. Mr J made fun of him and showed him the receipt from the shop. He pointed out to Batsy that he couldn’t nail us for shopping. Batsy thought that we should be motivated for rehabilitation now when we soon had a child to think about, but we didn’t agree. Mr J told him that he knew what it meant to loose a child, and that Batsy should know that too. On our way home we robbed a gas station. Mr J sprayed the salesman with laughing toxin, we stole gas and money and Mr J let me steal all the candy. I liked sweets even more after getting pregnant. Mr J was so kind to me.
Later we went back to the baby shop and bought everything else the baby needed. Mr J let me choose clothes. He helped me to choose toys. He explained that the baby wanted chew toys, like Bud and Lou, soft toys and rattles. Mr J said that it would be funny for me to play with the baby. He was really looking forward to it too. We bought a baby bed to put in our bedroom. It was funny to shop for the baby. We were so looking forward to becoming parents. Mr J told me to pack a bag with everything I and the baby needed at the hospital. Because I was very scared about giving birth I asked Mr J to stay home with me in the last part of the pregnancy. Mr J said he would stay with me when I gave birth. He wanted to see when the baby was born.
I grew out of my costume. I grew out of everything. Mr J wanted me to wear a black and red maternity dress with my jester hat. He bought me a lot of maternity clothes. Mr J thought that the pregnancy made me cute. In the beginning of the pregnancy I was throwing up, my breasts were sore, and later it hurt when the baby kicked. The baby was very active and was kicking the whole time. I wanted Mr J to comfort me and sit in his lap. I wanted to cuddle with him. Then Mr J wanted intercourse, and that was demanding late in the pregnancy. Mr J was very fascinated by the baby and always wanted to touch my tummy. I didn’t know much about how a pregnancy worked and had a lot of questions. Mr J bought me books for learning more and explained to me. He thought that Jewish girls were unaware of pregnancies too. I was more sensitive than usual and sometimes my hormones were out of control. Once I started fighting with Poison Ivy who had come for a visit. Mr J told me that I shouldn’t strangle Poison Ivy, because then we wouldn’t have any babysitter. He sent Poison Ivy home and questioned me. When I said that I didn’t know what we had been fighting about, Mr J got mad and punished me. He was as strict to me during the pregnancy as always.
When I was nine months pregnant and about to give birth any time, Mr J took me to ¨Iceberg Lounge¨ again for everyone to see the tummy. Mr J let me choose the menu. Bud and Lou lay under the table and ate a steak for dinner, and as always they fought with the leopard seals. An orchestra played that evening and Mr J and I danced. People looked at us and had a lot of comments. They were shocked when we cuddled at the table and Mr J talked about sex during the pregnancy. All the attention made Mr J really excited that evening and he continued when we got home and all through the night. Everyone could see how much we loved each other.
Then one evening Mr J had to rush me to the hospital. I was very scared about giving birth, it would hurt a lot. Mr J had to dress me and carry me out to the car. We scared the hospital staff because they thought that we were going to rob the hospital. Mr J swore at them and told them to help me at once. The hospital staff only talked to Mr J as I screamed for help the whole time. They thought that we should have been to check-ups, but Mr J explained that we hadn’t had time for that. It was painful but quick. I had soon given birth to a son. I was very happy and Mr J was too. Mr J wanted to hold the baby and he looked so very happy. He said that the baby would be called Jack, like himself, but JJ for short. Then Mr J sprayed the hospital staff with laughing toxin, I dressed myself and JJ and then we left the hospital. I couldn’t take my eyes of JJ, he was so cute, and I loved him so much. When we got home we presented JJ to our other babies, Bud and Lou. They were very curious about the new family member. Mr J was very happy about becoming a dad again. People can’t understand how much love and affection he showed JJ.
Next day we put an advertisement in the newspaper. It announced the birth of Jack Napier Jr, signed Jack Napier and Harleen Quinzel Napier. The news was also out that day and announced the happy event. JJ was only newborn but he was already a celebrity in Gotham City. Of course there was some rubbish about us too. Dr Leland was interviewed. She talked about us having a baby like a disaster and that we couldn’t take care of ourselves. She was so mean.
Mr J had a special gift for JJ. It was a baseball mitt. He had bought the same gift for the first child, which he was convinced was a boy. This time he had also been convinced that the baby was a boy, a joker. Maybe it would be a girl, a harlequin, next time. Mr J played a lot with JJ. He showed him all the toys. When he tickled JJ’s tummy he laughed. It was wonderful to see Mr J with JJ. Mr J sat with JJ in his lap when he watched baseball on TV. Other people thought that Mr J wouldn’t care about JJ, but Mr J was a very good dad. I had never seen Mr J happier than when he was with JJ.
Mr J immediately wanted more children and he didn’t want to wait. He made me pregnant again in a month. Mr J took me to ¨Iceberg Lounge¨ again to tell the news and let everyone see JJ. Many people looked in the baby carriage when we wheeled it in. After the news about JJ’s birth they wondered what he looked like. There was no chalk white skin and no green hair. Bud and Lou growled at everyone who came too close to the baby carriage. They didn’t let the Penguin come close to the table. When he held his distance Mr J told him that I was pregnant again, and he immediately ran away to share the news. Mr J let me choose the menu. JJ didn’t like the noise at the restaurant and started crying. Mr J picked him up from the baby carriage to comfort him. JJ soon calmed down when his dad was holding him. Then Mr J wanted me to give him JJ’s baby bottle so that he could feed him. People looked surprised that Mr J was feeding JJ. JJ was happy again. Mr J put him back in the baby carriage. Then he started to touch my tummy. He was very excited about becoming a dad for the third time.
Then I looked up at the balcony and saw people I didn’t want to see. Oracle, Barbara Gordon, sat with Bruce Wayne at a table. Mr J also hated to see the stupid bitch. She had her wheelchair but sometimes she walked with crutches. She regained some of her walking ability. Her identity as Batgirl had been revealed and then Mr J crippled her. Her successor as Batgirl we called fake-Bratgirl. It was thanks to her dad, Jim Gordon, that she had been able to continue her police education. He convinced the higher-ups that she could be rehabilitated and that she was already useful for the police as a computer technician. She knew computers since she had been a librarian. Of course she would mostly work with administration but the coppers needed some jerks for that too.
When I went to the ladies room to change JJ Oracle went there too. She asked me why we had a baby when we couldn’t take care of it. I told her that we took good care of JJ. She was shocked when I told her that I was pregnant again. JJ started crying and I swore at Oracle for scaring him. I made fun of Oracle for imagining having to rescue me, and for that she couldn’t keep Mr J at the Slab. When I got back to the table, I told Mr J that Oracle had harassed me and JJ. Mr J had quarreled with Bruce Wayne. He asked him how he could be friends with such a stupid bitch as Barbara Gordon. Stupid Bruce Wayne thought that we had more children too soon as JJ was only a month old. Mr J told him to fuck off. When they for the moment didn’t have to guard JJ, Bud and Lou ran away to fight with the leopard seals. When they saw that I and JJ were back at the table they returned. Bud and Lou were very protective of JJ. Incredible that people couldn’t leave us alone. Mr J was furious, and said that all the self-righteous good guys should learn what it meant to loose a child, and regret that they had questioned us as parents. Of course we had killed and injured some of their children and other family members, but we took good care of our own children.
Next day the news about my second pregnancy was out. Dr Leland was interviewed again. She was so mean, and said it was awful of Mr J to make me pregnant again that quick. Mr J was even more furious after reading the article. Dr Leland shouldn’t interfere. We felt like killing her. Mr J and I were very happy that I was pregnant again.
Mr J started planning. Batsy had a new adoptive son as Robin. One Robin had been injured by Mr J and became Nightwing. Another Robin had been killed by Mr J. Batsy seemed to find new Robins everywhere, he always had a bunch of kids helping him. He could spare one. We had killed the brat anyway so it didn’t matter when. Arkham was going through a large restoration. The hospital had to be emptied and the doctors and patients stayed in temporary barracks at the hospital area. We patients had tried our best to destroy the building. We were even dangerous to the building. Now the damages were too large and had to be repaired. It would take time before the doctors and patients could move back to the hospital. Restoration had to be repeated time after another at Arkham, but it wasn’t always as much as this. It was also an old building, and when it was being restored it was modernized at the same time. That meant we had access to the medical equipment at Arkham. We usually took our victims to one of our torture chambers but this time we would use Arkham, and that was a real funny joke. The patients had escaped the hospital and then went back to act like surgeons. Mr J always had so funny plans. Incredible that other people never understood his wonderful sense of humor. They never understood that a murder can be a joke.
Unfortunately we had to be away from JJ somewhat but we didn’t take risks with him. Being pregnant again I didn’t take risks either. Mr J had told Poison Ivy that if she was kind she could babysit JJ sometimes. He also made fun of her for being sterile. She had used too many poisonous plants, and now she had to regret it. That’s why Poison Ivy was so negative to Mr J and I having children. She was jealous because she couldn’t have children of her own. Poison Ivy didn’t either like that I complained to her when Mr J had beaten me up too much. Mr J shocked me by saying that Poison Ivy had a crush on me. It’s normal for gal pals to hug and cuddle when they meet. I was shocked when I understood that it had meant more to Poison Ivy. I remained friends with Poison Ivy, but I was more careful in my further contacts with her. There were enough mean rumors about Mr J and I already.
We were ready to go into action. I pretended to be a victim of robbery and lured Birdboy into a trap. When Birdboy understood it was a trap, he attacked me to escape, but he didn’t go far. Mr J used the buzzer on him. Then we put Birdboy in a sack and transported him to Arkham. We left a straight jacket as a clue, because we wanted Batsy to look for Birdboy.
Arrived at Arkham we started to torture Birdboy. Mr J used the buzzer on Birdboy and we kept beating him up. Lou and Bud growled at and bit Birdboy repeatedly. We wanted him to reveal Batsy’s identity. When Birdboy said ¨Bruce Wayne¨ we didn’t believe him at first. Birdboy had to repeat the name about ten times. We couldn’t imagine a jerk like Bruce Wayne to be Batman. Then we used surgery on Birdboy, without pain killers of course. We implanted a microchip in Birdboy’s head, to change his way of thinking and acting. The microchip was packed with Mr J’s DNA to change Birdboy’s personality and giving us the possibility to control him. Some jerks didn’t understand the microchip-thing. They imagined that Mr J lived in the microchip, but of course he didn’t. The microchip didn’t transform Birdboy into Mr J. It changed his personality into acting similar to Mr J, and making Birdboy imagine he was Mr J. Mr J is the one and only, and there’s nobody like him. Nobody can ever transform into Mr J, no matter how much they imagine to. Then we sprayed and also injected Birdboy with long-term laughing toxin to have more effect. The laughing toxin changed Birdboy’s appearance.
Birdboy went mad from all the torture and started behaving like a lunatic. We forced Birdboy to dress in a purple suit and he looked ridiculous. Now we started to make real fun of him. We started calling Birdboy fake-JJ and forced him to call us his fake parents. We pointed out to Birdboy that Batsy was also his fake parent. Then we filmed him in a ridiculous family movie. Mr J had a very funny plan. What a joke! We laughed the whole time. Mr J told Birdboy that when Batsy arrived he should kill him. When Batsy was dead we would put Birdboy in cement and dump him in the river. No reason to keep Birdboy when we had no more use of him. Great fun!
I missed JJ a lot. I was so looking forward to rejoining him. JJ was with Poison Ivy, and she took good care of him, but he should be with his parents. JJ was just a baby. Mr J also missed JJ a lot, he missed playing with and tickling him. It was awful without JJ. We also looked forward to our second baby. Because I was in the beginning of the pregnancy I threw up on Birdboy several times. We took out our frustration on Birdboy and tortured him even more.
Then Batsy arrived, with fake-Bratgirl. Two victims at the price of one. Now when we knew Batsy’s identity he was just ridiculous. He was just a joke. Batsy and fake-Bratgirl were shocked when they saw what se had done with Birdboy. They didn’t understand the joke. Mr J and I made fun of Batsy and fake-Bratgirl. We pretended that we didn’t know anything about any Robin, but we knew who fake-JJ was. Mr J explained that, because everyone was so shocked by us starting a family, and going through childbirth, we had borrowed someone else’s child to murder. Because people feared that we couldn’t take care of our children, we showed them what could happen to their children. Everyone who had questioned us as parents should regret it, and know what it meant to loose a child. We made fun of Batsy and fake-Bratgirl for thinking that Mr J and I were inappropriate parents, and that we shouldn’t have children.
Birdboy laughed like a lunatic, and I told him to get the bazooka. Batsy and fake-Bratgirl wanted us to let Birdboy leave, and go home to our own child. First they wanted us to visit the psychiatrists in the barracks, because they thought we needed psychiatric help. Mr J invited Batsy to watch the family movie where we tortured Birdboy. I didn’t want fake-Bratgirl to help Batsy. Therefore I started fighting with her, and then ran away from the room to lure her away. I started firing bazooka at her. I wanted to kill her before she could return to Batsy. Fake-Bratgirl thought we had done something awful to Birdboy. She thought it was especially awful of me, because I had myself given birth and was pregnant again. I explained that not only Mr J had enjoyed beating Birdboy up, it had been the right thing for me too.
Arkham was full of stones and cliffs during the renovation. I climbed up on a cliff and told fake-Bratgirl to hold her distance. Actually I wanted her to chase after me and throw her down from the cliff. When fake-Bratgirl had climbed up the cliff we continued to fight. Then we both slipped and were hanging from the cliff. Fake-Bratgirl could climb up, and then she wanted to rescue me by holding on to my cufflink. Of course I didn’t want fake-Bratgirl to rescue me. I ripped my cufflink apart and pretended to fall down into the cellar, but actually I jumped. I’m an elite class gymnast, and knew how to jump without injuring myself or the baby. Mr J knew I didn’t take risks during my pregnancy, and I was just in the beginning of it. My pregnancy didn’t even show yet.
I heard fake-Bratgirl running away and shouting that I and the baby were dead. I sat in the cellar and started laughing. How surprised fake-Bratgirl and Batsy would be when I showed up again. Then I touched my tummy and I felt a slight movement. It was the first time I felt the baby move inside my tummy. I was very happy. Then I understood that something terrible had happened upstairs. I heard a shooting. Afterwards I saw Bud and Lou running out of Arkham. If things had been all right they hadn’t left. Then I heard steps down one of the stairs. I moved forward in the cellar to see what had happened. Batsy and fake-Bratgirl were carrying Mr J down into another room in the cellar. Batsy was limping, and I heard them talk about that Mr J had attacked him with a knife. It wasn’t more than fair. I was shocked when I realized that Mr J was dead. He had a bang-flag sticking out from his chest. Batsy and fake-Bratgirl talked about that Birdboy had turned on Mr J instead of Batsy and had shot him. Birdboy had murdered Mr J! They started to dig a hole for burying Mr J. It was hard not to reveal myself and attacking them, but I had to think about the children, and Bud and Lou too. I was now there only guardian. I touched my tummy again, and I promised the children that the cellar at Arkham wouldn’t remain their dad’s grave. Both Mr J and the children deserved a proper grave.
I left Arkham through a cellar door. Later I would rejoin Bud and Lou at our main hideout but first I had to visit Poison Ivy. I ran away from the hospital area before Batsy and fake-Bratgirl realized I was alive. When I passed the barracks I saw light from some windows. Some day soon I had to contact Dr Leland, and I didn’t like it. Poison Ivy was surprised when I arrived, and shocked when I told her that Mr J was murdered. All the same I was happy to be with JJ again. I picked him up from the baby carriage to cuddle with him. He started laughing when I tickled his tummy. JJ didn’t understand that his dad was dead. He was so innocent. I felt such anger towards Batsy, fake-Bratgirl and Birdboy. Because of them JJ and the second baby had to grow up without their dad. One day we would have our revenge. Poison Ivy drove me and JJ home. Bud and Lou were happy when I arrived.
I was awfully depressed after Mr J’s death. I mostly lay in bed. Poison Ivy came home to me and cooked food, and she helped me to shop. I didn’t feel like eating but I knew I had to. My tummy grew more and my pregnancy started to show. I couldn’t risk loosing the children. I called Dr Leland because I wanted her to help me. She had heard of what had happened. Then I went to visit Dr Leland, with JJ and Bud and Lou. I didn’t like to visit Arkham. Dr Leland was still in the barracks. As a precaution I had laughing toxin in my handbag. I told Dr Leland that I wanted to set up a psychiatrist practice. I asked her to help me to get my doctor's license back and to be put on parole. Dr Leland said that this time I had to behave myself, and accept that she supervised me. She also said I had to start behaving like an adult, if I should be able to take care of the children. I said I did everything for my children. The whole time I sat with JJ in my lap and cuddled with him, and I felt the baby move inside my tummy.
Then I told Dr Leland that Mr J was buried in the cellar, and that I wanted to give him a proper grave. Dr Leland promised that if I could show her where Mr J was buried, she would help me to arrange the funeral Even if she didn’t like Mr J she agreed that he shouldn’t be buried in the cellar at Arkham. It was awful to visit the place, and I had forever the memory of how Batsy and fake-Bratgirl buried Mr J. Dr Leland would contact me when she had talked to the hospital board. When I left I heard Dr Arkham say to Dr Leland that she shouldn’t involve herself with me, because she had never been able to trust me before. Dr Leland said that she felt sorry for my children, even if she didn’t feel sorry for me.
At last Mr J was buried in a proper grave. It was only me, JJ and Bud and Lou at the funeral. I put purple flowers at the grave, the color of Mr J. One day I would explain to the children that their dad was murdered. I was worried about how our Happy Family could manage without him. Every week we visited Mr J’s grave. The children waved at their dad at the cloud, and on the way home I bought them a toy. Other people thought that I spoiled the children. I wanted to compensate them for that their dad was dead, even if I couldn’t.
Poison Ivy helped me with going to check-ups during the pregnancy. When it was time for me to give birth she drove me to the hospital and sat with JJ in the waiting room. She was shocked when suddenly one of the doctors approached her and asked if I had any relatives. Poison Ivy said that I had no contacts with any relatives. Then the doctor asked about who would take care of the children if I didn’t survive. The reason was that I, after giving birth to a girl, didn’t stop bleeding and had fainted. I had to be taken to surgery. Poison Ivy said that because she helped me with everything else, she would take care of the children. Some hours later I woke up in a hospital room. I had been under surgery and my uterus had been removed. I was happy that Mr J had got the two children he wanted. According to the doctors I had been injured because I got pregnant again too soon. Poison Ivy was upset and said that it was incredible that Mr J almost had killed me even after his death. I was happy to see JJ and my daughter again. The second baby would be called Harleen Jr, but Juno for short. Mr J and I had got both a joker and a harlequin. Even if Mr J was murdered he lived on through his children.
I started a psychiatrist practice at our main hideout. It was also a good idea to keep our other hideouts. At one of the hideouts my costume was missing. I found a batarang and knew Batsy had taken it as a trophy. He shouldn’t keep it and I should get it back from his gallery. I visited my publisher to get my books republished. Dr Leland came to visit, to check that I took care of the children the way I should. I explained that I kept the children at a play corner when I had patients, and that Bud and Lou were guarding them. Dr Leland got scared when Bud and Lou growled at her and didn’t let her come close the children. Poison Ivy sometimes baby-sat JJ and Juno. It was advertisement for my psychiatrist practice. Most people thought I went law-abiding because I didn’t have any money. Because I was alone with two children I couldn’t commit crimes anymore. JJ and Juno was all I had left of Mr J and I couldn’t risk loosing them. Mean people would take them away from me if they could. I now left the Criminal Kingdom to the children. However my economy was better than people could imagine. Mr J and I had some secret bank accounts, with millions of dollars from our robberies. I mostly used the money for our children, and later our grandchildren.
The children grew up to become Killer Clowns. JJ took after his dad in everything. He dressed in Mr J’s purple suits, colored his hair green and painted his face white. I gave my costumes to Juno. People were shocked because she looked just like me. JJ also got the costume Batsy had nicked back for her. Then Batfake had appeared. JJ visited the batcave. He pretended that his only task was getting my costume back, but he ended the visit by knocking Batfake down. JJ also had conflicts with Jokerz. We all hated that they imitated Mr J. The children also had conflicts with Commissioner Barbara Gordon. What a joke to name Oracle commissioner of the Gotham coppers. We always called her Invalid-Gordon. It was so ridiculous when she jumped around on her crutches. Juno married Kirk Dennis the Undertaker who was also a criminal. They had two children, the twin-daughters Delia and Deidre, both DeeDee for short. Because Juno and Kirk were involved with crimes I mostly took care of the grandchildren. Surprisingly JJ later found out that he had a son called Jake.
Batsy wanted it to be kept a secret what had really happened to Birdboy. He didn’t tell the whole story to others and not why he sent Birdboy to therapy. Batsy and fake-Bratgirl thought that they had saved Birdboy, but not as good as they imagined. Forty years later Birdboy went mad. The microchip and the laughing toxin had more effect than expected. Birdboy started to from times to times behave and look similar to Mr J, and he imagined to be Mr J. Our Happy Family knew he was just a bad copy but good enough to scare people who didn’t know better. Strangely enough Arkham was going through a large restoration again. Birdboy wasn’t cured before Batfake switched off the microchip. Of course our Happy Family made the most of the opportunity to make fun of Batfake. Delia and Deidre were upset because someone pretended to be their granddad. I sent the girls to spy on Birdboy. When I bailed them out from custody I pretended to be angry with them, but when we got out from the building I praised them. Then we visited their granddad’s grave, and then we went to a coffee shop to celebrate. We laughed at everyone who had been stupid enough to imagine Birdboy to be Mr J.
Mr J and I lived on through our Happy Family. New Killer Clowns had appeared, no matter what Oracle or anyone thought about it. The Criminal Kingdom continued with the Clown Princes and the Clown Princesses of Crime.